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Books / Movies / TV "Sweets, you couldn't ignore me if you tried." --The Breakfast Club "Childhood is so disillusioning." --Calvin & Hobbes "Even as we speak, aliens are undoubtedly infiltrating the highest levels of our government." --Calvin & Hobbes" "I'd say that just crossed the line from ironic coincidence to evil omen." --Calvin & Hobbes "I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul." --Calvin & Hobbes "I'm yet another resource consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienating peers to take over the world when you're old and weak! Am I scary or what?" --Calvin & Hobbes "I say, when life gives you a lemon, wing it right back and add some lemons of your own!" --Calvin & Hobbes "Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny. Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us?" "I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life." "I can't tell if that's funny or really scary." --Calvin & Hobbes "It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning." --Calvin & Hobbes "I've got plenty of common sense! I just choose to ignore it." --Calvin & Hobbes "Now I realize that just getting through the day without killing somebody can be an achievement." "It gets to be a habit. Most of us manage to keep our body count quite low. It's the neighborly way to live." --Children of the Mind "Hey, I'm just voyaging through the six stages of life: Birth, Childhood, Hideous Adolescence, Midlife Crisis, Plastic Surgery, Death or Whatever." --Cosm "New York has more commissioners than Des Moines, Iowa, has residents, including the Commissioner for Making Sure the Sidewalks Are Always Blocked by Steaming Fetid Mounds of Garbage the Size of Appalachian Foothills, and, of course, the Commissioner for Bicycle Messengers Bearing Down on You at Warp Speed with Mohawk Haircuts and Pupils Smaller than Purely Theoretical Particles." --Dave Barry's Greatest Hits "I've had the time of my life. No, I've never felt this way before. I swear, it's the truth, and I owe it all to you!" --Dirty Dancing "Only drive on roads, not people." --disclaimer on car commercial "He was young, malleable, attracted to her anyway. He would serve her purpose admirably." --Dragonflight "Remember: down is the enemy's gate." --Ender's Game "What would an intellectual do? What would....PLATO do?" --A Fish Called Wanda "They cruise around looking for planets that haven't made interstellar contact yet and buzz them.... They find some isolated spot with very few people around, then land right by some poor unsuspecting soul whom no one's ever going to believe and then strut up and down in front of him wearing silly antennas on their head and making beep beep noises. Rather childish really." --The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "This was the point at which he conceived his purpose, the thing that would drive him on, and which, as far as he could see, would drive him on forever. It was this. He would insult the Universe. That is, he would insult everybody in it. Individually, personally, one by one, and (this was the thing he really decided to grit his teeth over) in alphabetical order." --Life, the Universe, and Everything "'It will be as if, in place of the stars, I had given you a great number of little bells that knew how to laugh...' And he laughed again." --The Little Prince "Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, nine for Mortal Men doomed to die, one for the Dark Lord on his dark throne in the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie. One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them in the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie." --Lord of the Rings (book) "Nobody tosses a dwarf!" --Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Ring (movie) "Nothing important! That is, I heard a good deal about a Ring, and a Dark Lord, and something about the end of the world..." --Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (movie) "Interesting wouldn't be the half of it. Slowly she began to smile. After this, anything might happen. Anything at all." --Mairelon the Magician "Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it." --Many Waters "He's not pining! He's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker! He's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisibile! This is an ex-parrot! --Monty Python's Flying Circus "Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again. It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though." --Mostly Harmless "The Sandwich Maker had been sent to them by Almighty Bob in a burning fiery chariot. This, at least, is what Thrashbarg said, and Thrashbarg was the authority on these things....Old Thrashbarg said that it was the ineffable will of Bob, and when they asked him what 'ineffable' meant, he said look it up." --Mostly Harmless "I hate you and I hope you have snacks!" --Mystery Science Theater 3000 "<<J'y gagne, dit le renard, a cause de la couleur du ble.>>" --Le Petit Prince "Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can." --Pride and Prejudice "A doctor, a logician, and a marine biologist had also just arrived, flown in at phenomenal expense from Maximegalon to try to reason with the lead singer who had locked himself in the bathroom with a bottle of pills and was refusing to come out till it could be proved conclusively to him that he wasn't a fish." --The Restaurant at the End of the Universe "There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another which states that this has already happened." --The Restaurant at the End of the Universe "I like school. It's just too bad classes get in the way." --Saved By the Bell "And all the colors I am inside have not been invented yet." --Shel Silverstein "Draw a crazy picture, write a nutty poem. Sing a mumble-gumble song, whistle through your comb. Do a looney-gooney dance 'cross the kitchen floor. Put something silly in the world that ain't been there before." --Shel Silverstein "Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child, listen to the DON'TS. Listen to the SHOULDN'TS, the IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS. Listen to the NEVER HAVES, then listen close to me: anything can happen, child, ANYTHING can be." --Shel Silverstein "Attempted murder. Now, honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?" --The Simpsons "A new tree had grown from the stump and its trunk had grown along the ground until it reached a place where there were no wash lines above it. Then it had started to grow towards the sky again....It lived! And nothing could destroy it." --A Tree Grows in Brooklyn "The best way to predict the future is to invent it." --The X-Files "How was the opera?" "Wonderful, I've never slept better." --The X-Files "I want to believe." --The X-Files "Please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy." --The X-Files "The truth is out there." --The X-Files "If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilites, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced." --The X-Files Movie |  | | |
Music / Musicals / Plays "Every now and then a madman's bound to come along. Doesn't stop the story-- story's pretty strong. Doesn't change the song...." --Assassins "People listen... They may not want to hear it but they listen, once they think it's gonna stop the game...." --Assassins "I get by with a little help from my friends. Mmmm, get high with a little help from my friends. Yeah, gonna try with a little help from my friends." --The Beatles "I've just seen a face, I can't forget the time or place where we just met...." --The Beatles "There's nothing you can do that can't be done. Nothing you can sing that can't be sung. Nothing you can say that you can learn how to play the game. It's easy! Nothing you can make that can't be made. No one you can save that can't be saved. Nothing you can do that you can learn how to be you in time. It's easy! All you need is love!" --The Beatles "Though I know I'll never lose affection For people and things that went before, I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I'll love you more." --The Beatles "Today has never happened and it doesn't frighten me." --Bjork "But the thing of which we're chattin' happened here in Mid Manhattan, where we see so much of that in....You know it's really not surprising at all." --B.O.T.C.H. "When the dawn comes, tonight will be a memory too, and a new day will begin." --Cats "Cellophane, Mr. Cellophane, should have been my name: Mr. Cellophane. 'Cause you can look right through me, walk right by me, and not even know I'm there." --Chicago "Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it, and the reaction will be passionate. Give 'em the old hocus-pocus, bead and feather 'em. How can they see with sequins in their eyes?" --Chicago "I'm one of a long line of good girls who chose the wrong guy to be sweet on. The girl with a face that says 'Welcome' that men can wipe their feet on." --City of Angels "Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right." --Ani di Franco "New York, New York, the city that never shuts up." --Ani di Franco "Let's find a rock, I mean a big-ass rock. Or maybe something like a cinder block is better. We'll hoist it up, and drop it on your face, my buddy. And just before the lights go out, you'll see my smile and you'll know you've got a friend - with a rock - who cares. I mean a big-ass rock!" --The Full Monty "Careful the tale you tell: that is the spell. Children will listen..." --Into the Woods "Drink with me to days gone by, to the life that used to be. At the shrine of friendship, never say die. May the wine of friendship never run dry. Here's to you, and here's to me." --Les Miserables "In our little dreamhouse, we never seem to have any tea, or sugar, or cream. But we're always drinking tea with sugar and cream, 'cause the most important part of a dreamhouse isn't the house; it's the dream!" --Little House of Cookies "A weekend in the country is delightful, if it's planned." --A Little Night Music "Isn't it rich? Isn't it queer? Losing my timing this late in my career? And where are the clowns? There ought to be clowns. Well, maybe next year...." --A Little Night Music "Someday just began." --Merrily We Roll Along "Somebody somewhere wants me and needs me, and that's very wonderful to know." --The Most Happy Fella "Think of me, think of me waking, silent and resigned. Imagine me, trying too hard to put you from my mind. Think of me, please say you'll think of me, whatever else you choose to do. There will never be a day when I won't think of you." --The Phantom of the Opera "A day of peace. A day of pride. A day of justice we have been denied. Let the new day dawn, oh, lord, I pray... We'll never get to heaven 'till we reach that day." --Ragtime "The dish and the spoon were evicted from the table and eloped. She's had trouble with that milk and the moon ever since. Maybe it's a female thing." --Rent "There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret or life is yours to miss. No other road. No other way. No day but today." --Rent "Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care? Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?" --Rent "But the world is full of crazies and fools, who don't believe in sensible rules, and don't believe what sensible people say. So impossible things are happening every day!" --Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella "Because if we happened, just happened to discover, or even suspect, that our spontaneity was part of their order, we'd know that we were lost." --Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead "Now, no matter where I am, no matter what I do, I see your face appearing. Like an unexpected song, an unexpected song that only we are hearing." --Song and Dance "You've got to be carefully taught to hate and fear, you've got to be taught from year to year; it's got to be drummed in your dear little ear, you've got to be carefully taught. You've got to be taught to be afraid of people whose eyes are differently made, and people whose skin is a different shade, you've got to be carefully taught. You've got to be taught before it's too late, before you are six or seven or eight, to hate all the people your relatives hate; you've got to be carefully taught." --South Pacific "There has to be an invisible sun that gives us hope when the cold day's done." --Sting & Aswad "Mapping out the sky, Finishing a hat... Starting on a hat... Finishing a hat... Look, I made a hat..." --Sunday in the Park with George "Well, there are worse things than staring at the water on a Sunday. There are worse things than staring at the water as you're posing for a picture after sleeping on the ferry after getting up at seven to come over to an island in the middle of a river half an hour from the city on a Sunday. On a Sunday in the park with George." --Sunday in the Park with George "Dance like there's nobody watching, love like you can't be hurt, sing like there's nobody listening, llive like it's heaven on earth." --???, written on a desk in HPTF ...and the poor, homeless ANONYMOUS quotes: "Desperate times call for desperate pleasures." --anonymous "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?" --anonymous "If at first you don't succeed, bungee jumping is not for you." --anonymous "I'm not shy. I'm just studying my prey." --anonymous "Life's a bowl of punch. Go ahead and spike it." --anonymous "Practice makes perfect, but no one is perfect, so why practice?" --anonymous "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I!" --anonymous | | | |
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Anyone Else The Infamous US History 11 Quote List "I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by." -- Douglas Adams "A paranoid is a man who knows a little of what is going on." --William Burroughs "I go there once a year to play the recorder to the birds. Sometimes you get a good bird. You go 'tweet-a-deet,' he goes 'tweet-a-deet.' But you never know what you're saying to them--if you're claiming their territory or asking them to mate. When they start coming at me, I stop." --Don Byron
"The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." --Albert Einstein "Two things are infinite; the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not too sure about the former." --Albert Einstein "You do not lead by hitting people over the head. Any damn fool can do that, but it's usually called 'assault,' not 'leadership.'" --Dwight D. Eisenhower "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." --Ghandi "I'm like an old tin can in an alley. Anyone who walks by can't resist kicking it." --M. Donald Grant "Maybe this world is another planet's hell." --Aldous Huxley "Success is not spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire." --Reggie Leach "I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients." --Oscar Levant "Since I came out, I keep getting all these parts, and my career's taken off. I want a quiet life! I'm going back into the closet. But I can't get back into the closet because its absolutely jam-packed with other actors." --Sir Ian McKellan "The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it." --J. Robert Oppenheimer "I've been too fucking busy and vice-versa." --Dorothy Parker "Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait pas." --Blaise Pascal "It is a mistake to speak of a bad choice in love, since as soon as a choice exists, it can only be bad." --Marcel Proust "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock." --Will Rogers "There are two kinds of people in the world: those who need closure." --Mark Schmidt "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow." --Mark Twain "Punctuality is the virtue of the bored." --Evelyn Waugh "I want either less corruption or more opportunity to participate in it." --Oscar Wilde "Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one." --Oscar Wilde ...as spoken by my friends, enemies, and indifferent acquantainces: "Their eyes don't stay up!" --Alaina "I don't live in the projects! In the projects, there's, like, piss in the elevators. There's piss in my elevators, but that's because the old ladies are incontinent." --Alex "I think I'm going loco en la cabeza." --Alex "Praise me as your god! Now! Not good enough!" --Alex "She was in Hair and...uh, Hair...and, uh, let me check...." --Alex "Slingshot it is. Or maybe my crossbow...I don't know, which one brings out my femininity more?" --Alyssa "This string is a gift from my tribe to yours. It is a gift; not a present." --Anton "I'm in favor of airstrikes against countries whose names I can't easily pronounce. Like kur-dee-stan." "Or Asia!" --Ben & Jonathan "I am unnaturally flexible and can comfortably lie in obscene positions for hours. I have a wide tongue." --Bennett, writing on college counselor reccomendation form "It's sad. If anyone ever killed me, they could stick me in a duffel bag, and I'd fit." --Bennett "The new sport at Hunter: Hunter Deathball! You stand at bat and the teachers throw as many projects at you as possible while you cower." --Bennett "Never jump off any cliffs before checking to make sure there's a mattress at the bottom!" --class 8-3 "Now, when I yell 'diversion,' you create a diversion. Okay? DIVERSION!" --Dan "At least I'm not allergic to the sky." --Dave "Aren't you bored? How can you just sit here? You want to go outside and have a snowball fight! Come on..." --David "The wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead." --Mr. Diaz "I'm sad no quotes of me were on your page." --Erica "Oh my god, we're so OLD!" --Erica "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me..." --Ethan "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." --Gelpi "Ok, I'm having this fight with a bunch of people. They think that sex is better than bio, I think not, where do you stand?" --Gelpi "One! Two! Three! SING!" --Gelpi "Si, yo soy gringo. Mr. Austin eres gringo." --Gelpi "Always fear charismatic megalomaniacs." --Hana "Hey! I have my life planned out already! Actually, it's planned out on two possible paths. Either one or the other, anyway." --Hana "Where's my tape recorder when I need it?" --Hana "She has only two expressions! Ok, MAYBE three." --Jacob "Wait! Wait! Don't restart! It's still thinking!" --Liz, on the computer into which we had entered one too many zeroes "By twelfth grade, we'll be SENIORS!" --Maeve "Sleep? No, I don't practice that philosophy." --Maeve "Take a can of neon yellow paint and do a Jackson Pollock on them. It'll look like highlighter and no one will ever know the difference." --Maeve "How can you resist these sad, pleading puppy dog eyes?" --Matt "If you don't give me your French homework, I KILL you!" --Matt "Augh! These hands! I can't get them off my wrists!" --Melani "Beware of British swans in a snit." --Melani "Die, vampire murderer, die!" --Melani on "Buffy" "Hey, let's have a corset-tying party!" --Melani "I may LOOK like me, but I'm really my EVIL TWIN." --Melani "My locker is the evil maniacal spawn of hell! It's making me leak red stuff!" --Melani "Who? What? Huh? Maeve? Where?" --Melani "Know your role, Phoeboum." --Michael "Shrug? WHO YOU CALLIN' A SHRUG?!" --Michael "The birds go peep peep!" --Nancy "Hmmm. Idsy? Idsy Midsy Widsy Sidsy...OH! MIDST!" --Natasha "Would you name seven of your children 'George' after you?" --Natasha, to me (my name isn't George) "Alex: Your average french fry target." --Nicole "Destroy all evidence: Phoebe's an angel...oops!" --Nicole "If people aren't making sense, tell them. (pause) In that case, I should be talking to Michael a lot more." --Nicole "Is this a flickable object?" --Nicole "I have two uncles in woodworking, and seventeen and a half fingers between them." --Patrick "I think God is running out of extras in the story of my life. He keeps recurring the same people." --Patrick "Bad girl. Fifteen lashes with a wet noodle." --Ms. Peterson "Oh cool, we're SCUM!" --Phoebe & Nicole "I'm a firm believer in the spontaneity theory. We spontaneously appeared, we will someday spontaneously die out, and in the meanwhile we spontaneously combust every now and then." --Phoebe "I'm so tired, I would die...but I think the effort might kill me." --Phoebe "Let's see if my obnoxious computer will take clicking as a direct affront to its dignity and boot me off as punishment." --Phoebe "Ooh ooh ooh someone I hate just signed on, yay now I can insult him!" --Phoebe "Sleep...we all dream of it." --Phoebe "Hey! We am NOT schizo!" --Robert "Guys bounce their legs because they've had too much coffee." "Yeah, it's called penis!" --Scott & Mack "I am one with the pigeon poop!" --Tameika "He covers his ass faster than the new guy in D-block." --Thomas "Tired. Want to go home. Naptime yet?" --Tiffy "Can thou not eat chocolate while onlinest? Eat grapes will I." --Tina "Everyone's a bum." --Tina "What if I accidentally ate my books?" --Tina "I am NOT a NUGGET! I am an ACTOR!" --wacko at Usdan "Did David just jump out the window?" --Zach |
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